Weddings are the most awaited and life-changing event. However, the journey of marriage is not a piece of cake. It is full of uncertainties and fluctuations. Many couples face struggles with miscommunication, betrayal and other issues.
Some couples part ways, while others stick it out.
Remember, bad times won’t last forever, and even the strongest marriages go through storms of discontent. It has been reported that couples who work patiently through issues are happier in the end than those who decide to split.
In a report from the National Survey of Families and Households, more than 5,000 couples were interviewed and about 1,000 couples said they were “unhappily married.” Nearly 80% of the couples stayed together and five years later, they were interviewed again and said they considered themselves “happily married” and “much happier.”
Of the couples who got divorced, less than 20% reported being happy.
So, don’t lose hope. There are many ways, including marriage counseling, that can help to restore happiness and strengthen your love.
This article will outline five strategies that can help save an unhappy marriage.
- Discover The Underlying Issues
The first and foremost thing you need to do is to find the root cause of the unhappiness. Look back and try to pinpoint turning points — when the joys of your marriage began to fade. Did you and your partner over-focus on your career or other responsibilities that eventually created distance between you? Was there a betrayal? Did infertility issues or financial difficulties create tension and stress in your partnership?
Is there something in your or your partner’s history or childhood that is negatively affecting your relationship?
Being clear about the problem affecting the happiness of your union will go a long way in helping you choose the right solutions. Marriage counseling with a professional can you and your partner peel back the layers of ongoing conflict to back to the root of problems.
- Talk To Your Partner About Problems
Sometimes problems grow and become unmanageable because couples refuse to face them. Lack of communication can make things worse. Hence, it is pivotal to speak openly about issues. This doesn’t mean blaming your partner for everything terrible that is going on in your life. It just means to express your feelings and wants clearly. Learn healthy ways to express desires as well as to listen carefully to your partner’s wants.
- Don’t Let Emotional Flooding Hijack Your Brain
It is natural to let emotions take a hold of your body and mind during an argument. Learn coping mechanisms such as self-soothing and timeouts. These tools help you to disengage with the anger and avoid a nervous system overdrive. The goal is to re-engage with your partner as an ally and with introspection.
- Get Help On Time
Marriage is hard work. Seek the help of a therapist before problems snowball into chronic conflicts that take on a life of their own. Many struggling couples found marriage counseling in Chicago and other cities of the world quite helpful in solving conflicts.
Unfortunately, unhappy couples wait an average of six years before seeking help, says Dr. John Gottman, relationship expert. This long wait time brings negativity and even trauma to the relationship, and resolving them becomes more difficult than if the couple had sought help early on.
- Avoid Putting Pressure On Your Relationship
Are you expecting to find all the joy of life through your spouse? Doing things separately can help you both grow individually. Pursue a hobby or take part in activities you enjoy. Enhance your life and bring something new to your marriage. This will bring you closer to each other.
The Bottom Line -:
Be committed to your relationship and work hard to achieve your goals. Most things can be fixed with patience and guidance from a skilled counselor.