Separation anxiety. A term more commonly used with our pets, and less discussed as a common human experience. One of the first things to grasp about separation anxiety is the fact that it is completely normal. No matter if you feel it for your child, your partner, or friends and family members, feeling a sense of unrest when you are away from a loved one is normal. However, once your separation anxiety becomes debilitating, and you find yourself struggling to function in everyday situations when you alarm your person, this is where seeking help is crucial.
Anxiety alone can be an extremely exhausting mental health issue. The truth about separation anxiety, in particular, is that you are already halfway closer to the solution. In this blog, we’ll share exactly what separation anxiety is, what it looks like, and actionable steps you can take to combat the effects of it.
What is separation anxiety?
Separation anxiety can be defined by the fear of being apart or detached from a person, whether that be a parental figure or another attachment figure. Although it is more common in children, many adults experience this as a result of a fear of abandonment due to childhood trauma in many cases.
What are the symptoms of separation anxiety?
The symptoms of separation anxiety can be hard to spot, especially as they often mimic the side effects of general anxiety. Here are just a few of the signs you may expect:
- Stress prior and following being a part of the attachment figure
- Excessive worry about events that may cause separation from the figure
- Physical manifestations such as nausea and headaches when apart from an attachment figure
- Panic attacks and or nightmares about being apart from or separated from an attachment figure
How to deal with separation anxiety
Figure out why you’re experiencing it first
First things first, you need to find the root cause of your separation anxiety. Is it perhaps a past trauma, a fear of abandonment, or a toxic relationship dynamic that you’ve become accustomed to? Sometimes our minds exaggerate what’s going on, or perhaps you are under a lot of stress with your loved one in trying to arrange a uk spouse visa so you can live together indefinitely. Pinpointing the source of anxiety helps you understand the emotion rather than just reacting to it. Once you know what’s behind it, you can start working on untangling it.
Therapy
This is one of the most effective tools you can invest in, especially if you find separation anxiety to be a recurring theme as you enter new relationships. Speaking with a licensed therapist can help you build healthier attachment styles, challenge irrational fears, and develop coping mechanisms that last. You don’t need to “have it all figured out” to go to therapy. You just need to be willing to show up.
Mindfulness meditation
Before you pass any judgment, know that you do not need to be spiritual to engage in mindfulness meditation. Meditation is about grounding yourself in the present and separating yourself from the rumination and anxiety that is pulling your mind to dark, anxiety-inducing spaces. Mindfulness pulls you back. Even just five minutes a day of breathing exercises or guided meditation can reduce the intensity of your emotional response.
Journaling
Write it out. All of it. The fears, the assumptions, the scenarios playing on a loop in your head. Journaling gives you the space to release what’s building up and helps you notice patterns in your thinking. You will feel an immense weight off your shoulders as you purge all of your ruminating thoughts onto the page. Over time, it becomes easier to separate fear from fact.
Goal setting
Separation anxiety can shrink your world. Setting small, achievable goals helps expand it again. This might look like making plans with friends, starting a project, or working toward a personal milestone. These steps remind you that you are a full, capable person, even when you’re away from someone you care about.
The takeaway
Overall, separation anxiety doesn’t have to define you, and it especially doesn’t make you weak. What it does mean is that you’re human, and you don’t need to carry the weight of the feeling alone. By speaking to those you love aside from the person you’re attached to, writing it down and moving through these emotions, and implementing the work to feel more secure in yourself, you can break free of the anxiety-bound chains and live to your true self ( even when apart from your person).
Remember: love isn’t about constant proximity. It’s about trust, freedom, and knowing that connection doesn’t disappear the moment someone walks out the door.
